one year in

Some reflections as the first year with Evie comes and goes...

I think I may never eat a hot meal again. Or eat ice cream before it's melted beyond enjoyment.

I may never sleep more than three hours at a time ever again. We have a good eater, people, but a horrible, lousy, no good sleeper. I'm pretty sure even after she moves out she'll be calling me at three in the morning because she can't sleep. I'm not even joking.

There is no end, I repeat, NO END to the havoc a mobile baby can create.

As bad as crawling is, climbing is even worse. How can she have no fear? I'm pretty sure she's seeing it as a challenge to keep her guardian angel as busy as possible. I'm also pretty sure that without the protection of said angel she'd have cracked her head more than a few times already.

Why are baby feet and hands so clammy? Why are they the perfect amount of clamminess to get stuck in hair and rip and rip and rip?

I didn't know my heart could be so full of this kind of love.

I'm pretty sure I'll never take my mom for granted again.

It's strange to live in this place of paradox where it's just as easy as it is hard to give up so much of myself and my time for this tiny human being.

I think there's nothing better than sleepy eyes looking up at you and a tiny hand on your face. That's as good as it gets.


Oh, Evie Baby, you make my heart so happy : )

conversation this morning with my seven month old*

Baby: (rubbing her eyes) Hey, Mom? I'm not sure what's wrong but I don't feel right.
Mama: I know, Sweetie, you're tired, you need a nap.
Baby: (whimpering a little) No, that's not it. I'm not tired.
Mama: I think you, are, Honey. But before I get my breakfast, let's feed you.
Baby: (Gobble, gobble, gobble) Yah, that's it, I'm hungry. I'm SO hungry. I think you haven't fed me since last week.
Mama: And after you eat, you'll have a nice sleep.
Baby: No, 'cause I'm not sleepy, look I'm wide awake! I wanna play!
Mama: Let's just try...
Baby: NO! I'M AWAKE!
Mama: Fine, sit here and play while I make my breakfast.
Baby: Yah, you do that, I'm totally fine here playing and being awake. (rubs her eyes again) There's just something wrong, I can't figure out what it is...
Mama: You're tired! Here's your soother, have a nice, little nap.
Baby: NO! I'M AWAKE! I'll prove it to you by crying really loudly.
Mama: Fine! Stay awake then!
Baby: (Whimper, whimper) Good. (rub, rub)
Mama: I'm about to pour the milk on my cereal. I'd really like not to have to eat soggy cereal this morning... are you sure you don't want to try... (tips baby back into a sleeping position)
Baby: I'M AWAKE! If I could just kick you hard enough you'll realize how much I don't need to take a nap!
Mama: FINE! Milk is being poured! I'm eating my cereal! (pours milk on her cereal)

Small pause as Mama brings her cereal out to the table.

Baby: Mom? (rub, rub, rub) I don't want to bug you or anything but I think I'm tired. (whimper, whimper) I think I need a nap. Will you rock me and sing me a lullaby? Like, right now. Because if you don't do it RIGHT NOW I probably won't sleep all morning and will be cranky like this for the rest of the day because I finally figured out that I really need to sleep. I'm so tired.
Mama: (whimpers and five minutes later eats soggy cereal in peace)

*what in the world? how do we have a seven month old already?

oh, and also

Evie slept for about two hours this morning after our Mom and Baby time at the library and about an hour and a half this afternoon with her dad (who's feeling a bit under the weather).

A-mazing! Normally we do not have a napper - twenty-five minutes or half an hour is all I can count on two or three times a day.

I felt like I actually got a break today, what a difference in outlook it makes!

And, a photo to share, just 'cause she's so darn cute : )

slight difference in taste

While shopping for clothing the other day, Daryl brought over a few things he had found to add to the cart; some nice shirts, some pants, and a t-shirt.

He held up the t-shirt to show me. "Do you think you would wear this? It's too small for me but it would fit you."

I examined the blue shirt. It was nice, good quality, but it had some insignia and a flag I didn't recognize on it. "Why do you want me to wear that shirt?" I asked, puzzled.

"Well, if I didn't cheer for Brazil, I would cheer for Arg - no, I'd cheer for Holland. But if I didn't cheer for Brazil or Holland, I would cheer for Argentina during the World Cup."

Back on the rack the t-shirt went.

No, Daryl, *I* will not wear *your* THIRD choice team's flag for the World Cup. There's just so much wrong with that sentence...

january 27, 2010

Hard to believe. Four years ago?

And so, a poem that was given to me by a friend just when I needed it and it has been held dear since that day.

Still Birth
The Spirit blows where it will.
Life moves among molecules, touching
the baby waiting to be still
born with the same love it lavishes
on the ancient priest whose life
has been sacrifice and celebration.

The Spirit breathes in all flesh.
Love is not long or short.
Every heartbeat adds a note
to a song only God can hear;
when one heart stops, another
takes the melody. We sing
even in our sorrow.

-       Marilyn Chandler McEntyre

As well as a reminder that the sorrow doesn't stay sorrow forever, but there is always good news coming. 


After a busy day full of cuteness we had an evening full of crankiness. When she finally fell asleep it was with her daddy, bouncing on the ball, with her fingers in her mouth. 

Sigh, what a sweetie. 

whatever works

Just the wee babe and I at home tonight and I notice that netflix has a show called Extreme Cheapskates. I find myself watching it, not to be entertained by thier cheapskatedness, but for ideas. Ha!

pretty little liar

So, this past Saturday Evie and I went to a breastfeeding event at the Legislature. There's a friendly competition that happens between cities to see who can get the most moms and babies latched on at the stroke of eleven. The two of us got there just in time, registered, plunked ourselves down and got ready for the great latch just as the countdown began, and... I could not wake Evie up. No matter what I did! Pulling her out of her wrap didn't work, unzipping her little hoodie didn't work, tickling her feet didn't work! Crazy baby, slept through the whole thing, and therefore we did not count as one of the breastfeeding pairs. And yet, she still proudly wore her sticker that declared she had breastfed. What a liar! 

And then, when I was looking at the news online happened to see that they had done a story on the event. Guess who we saw in all her lazy glory!