a little pudge never hurt anyone (unless they're pregnant, then it's the end of the world)

We're over halfway through the second trimester and things are starting to change. Leg cramps? Check, I was expecting those to be along any time now. Hormones starting to affect emotional balance on a daily basis? Check. Pelvic bones out of whack? Check and check. But one thing I wasn't expecting to happen is to be so concerned about my body image.

I've always been in awe of the pregnant body (can you *believe* what's going on in there?) and have waited so long to have this chance again it totally took me back that I'm starting to feel insecure. It could also be because I know how much work it takes to get those thighs and hips whipped back into shape. Regardless, I've found myself, on more than one occasion, standing in front of the mirror pushing at my expanding hips willing the pudge to go back from whence it came. And I catch myself and blame it on the hormones because, I for one, am so thrilled to be pregnant that a little pudginess couldn't affect me this way!

And then, in church on Sunday I felt horrible. The children's ministry had just had a sleepover with twenty-five kids and I had a morning ahead of me full of responsibilities and obligations and I was tired, sore and puffy eyed. I did my utmost to put my best foot forward and keep a smile on my face. I could handle one morning! And then I could collapse into bed. Midway through the morning a friend came up to me and said, "Corrie, you look great, you're absolutely glowing."

Did I reply, "Why thank you, how kind" or, "Thanks, I really needed that right now, I feel completely done in"? Nope. I said, "Ha ha, I'm probably just wild eyed from exhaustion."

And it's been bugging me all week. Why did I feel the need to deflect a compliment like that? Why couldn't I just say thank you, and tuck it away to bring out the next time I needed a boost? I dunno. But then I saw this, and thought, I guess I'm not the only one.

And yes, it made me tear up. Stupid hormones.



pamero said...

Yeah, hormones are stupid. I had a tear too, even though I realllllly didn't want to be a stupid baby and cry while watching it. And also, I hate our stupid society today for making beautiful people think they're ugly.

Mom said...

I always felt you girls are so beautifully made by our God !

I have also felt that way about myself until I turned 60 now I would describe myself like these women did and I also have tears for us. When do we ever learn that God made our Spirits beautiful for the World to see His Love 💜

Terry's Girl said...

I love your words...all three of you.

Its hard because we KNOW it but we question...we've been so conditioned to think and 'feel' one way that it's like we are swimming upstream daily in a river of self love and confidence and sometimes a current pulls us back...as Dori the fish says "just keep swimming. swimming, swimming"