y'know what I mean?

I try to regret as few things as possible in life.

Like Friday when I repotted my beautiful Wandering Jew plant that I've had for years and was finally getting around to putting it in a hanging basket so it didn't trail across the floor with me stepping on it all the time and then I hung it precariously from a hook in the ceiling of the sunroom and proceeded to fuss with it to make it hang *just so* making it wiggle from its precarious perch so that it fell and the pot split open spilling dirt everywhere and all that's left of my beautiful plant are a few little tendrils attached to the root and lots and lots of tendrils not attached to the root anymore.

Sad, but not worth making myself miserable thinking about what ifs. If I had just left it alone, or if I hadn't hung it from the hook when I knew it didn't fit properly. I find that it wastes energy and makes me feel miserable to regret things like that.

But there are a few things that I do regret.

Mostly having to do with my big mouth.

There have been a handful of comments I have made without thinking at all or, in some cases, too much thinking, that I wish I could take back.

Comments that are spiteful, and hit the target precisely how I meant to, to inflict as much hurt as possible.

Comments that I made in order to sound cool and like I didn't care, and they succeeded in making me appear that way but then I felt awful for betraying myself.

Or comments that were flippant about issues that I never should have been flippant about.

I've apologized where I've needed to apologize (even years later) and, most of the time, I've learned to make sure that my words really do reflect my beliefs and intelligence, and hope that people feel that they can trust what comes out of my mouth and not be afraid of hurtful words.

But that handful of comments won't let go.

True regrets.

Maybe that's what regret is - ages with you but never gets old.


Mom said...

Well stated, Corrie and I am right there with you on it all. Thanks for your honesty and your sharing that encourages me. love ya ;)